I struggled on how to start on what to say so I start from the beginning.
Growing up I had no idea about taking time for self-love. In junior high I was bullied to the point of having my head slammed in lockers along with name calling. I not only had braces but also wait for it… yes head gear oh ya and full body acne so needless to say I was an easy target. Even more so kids telling me I was so ugly I would be better off dead so no one had to look at me.
I moved away for high school and while I was not bullied, I was awkward. I focused on just studying hard and working. This continued for university and early working years.
In time I did meet a great young man. We got a dog and then we bought a home. After a number of years there started to be immense pressure on both sides to get married. I was able to push it off as I asked for a motorcycle before a ring.
I did love this man but I had never taken the time to love myself. To so many we had it all. We are now divorced and we have a friendly relationship as we do share custody of our wonderful dog Symbol.
My attitude of the past can be described as mostly angry and mean. I put so much blame on others and not looking upon myself. It has taken the last couple years through separation and divorce and over the length of covid and two moves to find the love in myself.
I was on facebook and saw the link to join Be You Uplifted community from Pretty as a Picture photography page. It was so welcoming and I was grateful to have purpose with the challenges. I knew I would not be able to fully let myself love someone else if I could not find time to love me and that meant all of me including my past.
Joining the group was early stages of my self-love journey. I did a boudoir shoot perhaps a little sooner than I was maybe ready to fully embrace it. Other group members talked about how fabulous their experience was and I was also surprised how many also did it just for them. My previous perception was that it had to be for a partner. I did it for me as a birthday gift.
I practice gratitude each day in the morning and then again at the end of the day. I love my dog and we go outside and enjoy the fresh air every day no matter what the weather, as being outside I can ground myself. I have learned to say no. I have stopped the blame game and let go of worry. I have started accepting myself exactly as I am and I practice talking to myself with kindness.
I am still new to the self-love journey and I am sure that will continue to have wins and maybe the occasional hiccup. I am a rookie so still learning but always willing to help anyone that is looking to start.
If you would like to be featured on a Sharing is Caring episode on YouTube, and have your written words published here, I would love to hear from you.
Comment below or send me an email (emmawood@prettyasapicture.ca)